July 10, 2009
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There are apparently very good reasons that Thanksgiving and all its trimmings are reserved for a blustery month like November, because it’s far too hot in July to roast a turkey.
Last year we sequestered an extra turkey in the deep recesses of the freezer to be enjoyed at a later date… like when turkey and stuffing regained its pedestal of yumminess after we got thoroughly sick of it during the holiday season. Well now it’s July and I needed more room in the freezer so out it came. Someone gave us a meat smoker, so what could be better than a summer version of the old classic? Smoked turkey, crockpot mashed potatoes, grilled green beans, stovetop stuffing, and strawberry shortcake with vanilla icecream for dessert.All I can say is “ha”….HA! After numerous attempts at trying to clean all the black widows out of the meat smoker, attemtping to assemble all the pieces, and searching for the owners manual online (all with Jamie and Charlie “helping”), I discovered by trial and error that using charcoal is a disastrous affair. Defintiely flirting with the dark side. Anyone who can successfully cook with charcoal has my deepest respect. The smoker was a serious no-go. Perhaps if I’d had more time I could have eventually figured it out (like maybe in ten years or so), but for now it ruefully remains a connundrum to me, so the ill fated turkey got slapped in the oven with no bag, no baster, and no meat thermometer . My kitchen is obviously sadly lacking when it comes to cooking meat… I don’t have a meat carving knife either (resulting in a woefully undercooked bird that later had to be microwaved to death…poor bird). Oh and in case anyone is wondering, you cannot cook mashed potatoes in the crockpot. Sure you can heat already cooked mashed potatoes, but you can’t start from scratch. Or maybe I did something wrong, but whatever the case my poor potatoes turned not pink, not brown but gray. And they tasted awful. So I had to re-do the potatoes and do them the traditional way (I’m sad to confess that’s 20 lbs of potatoes total).
So in the end the kitchen ended up hotter than the inside of the oven itself and we ate outside in an attempt to salvage a pleasant evening out of the debacle, only to be chased back inside by swarms and swarms of bees who came to flirt and make food.
All this of course as a way of celebrating Jim and Charlie’s birthday with my parents. Happy early Birthday guys.
PS.
Does anyone know how to keep bees away? I have an outdoor party for Charlie tomorrow and I am at my wits end about the bees.
Comments (7)
What about some sort of tiki torch? I really have no idea besides that.
dang. sounds like you had QUITE an experience!
We’ve got a bee issue, too, Ez. Horrible. They like where the AC vent drains water off. Then they like to hang out near our door so as soon as we open it, they love the cool air and want to get inside! So frustrating
. But, alas, I offer no remedies 
Well at least you made a good try at it!? And definately won’t try that again, right?
I don’t mind the bees….if they aren’t near me, especially if they are honey bees. But of course I wouldn’t want them invading my party either. I’m terrified of almost anything that buzzes. When I was a little girl, I was on my great aunt’s swing and there was a birdhouse behind it. I went a little to much and hit the birdhouse and a swarm of hornets came out. I had probably about 100 or so hornets attack me. They were all over me, even went up my shirt. My Pop-Pop had to rip off my shirt and was batting them all away with his hat! Of couse I had numerous stings and got sick a lot on the road home (which was a good 2 hr drive!) It was the most terrifying thing I’ve ever went through. You know, those childhood trauma’s stick with you even as an adult!!
You might try googling it. If they are honey bees, you won’t want to kill them or anything. The tiki torch may keep them away. Maybe some of those candles that keep the mesquitos away?? Not sure myself. Maybe try putting out a few sugar water (like hummingbird feed) bowls somewhere in the distance away from the guest. Maybe use the caps off of the glass jars, if you have any. That way you don’t waste your sugar by making a large amount. Try mixing 1/2 cup of sugar with 2 or 2 1/2 cups of water.
LOL. Sammy does really well with the charcoal, but I wouldn’t even attempt it. No sireee. I’m impressed that you even tried. As for bees, we have tons of them right now too, and I am loath to hurt them after all I’ve heard about the bee population being down and all… I think they like the water, our fountain and any water that I put on the plants because they tend to swarm when I turn on the hose. I am scared of them- I’ve never been stung and I do have an epi pen in case, but my mom almost died from a bee sting once, so… yeah, scared. Anyway, all that to say that I have no ideas or advice for getting rid of them. However, they seem to be out more in the daytime and not as much at night. Sammy and I eat dinner on the patio all the time and I never see the bees out that late. We do also have citronella candles lit at night- don’t know if that has anything to do with it? Good luck on the party!
Baste the turkey in bacon grease and stick it on the porch in the summer afternoon heat. It should cook itself pretty fast.
They’re not bees, are they, Ez? I’d bet they’re yellow-jackets, just from what you said. This page says to float spearmint on your table and put that turkey carcass in a nearby / far-ish away tree, which is at least worth a try. Those things are awful.