May 11, 2005

• Ahhh… I breathe a sigh of relief as I settle myself in the drivers
  seat.  The smell of leather, the comfortable feeling of the clutch
  beneath my left foot, and my hand on the gear stick welcome me with
  heartwarming normalcy.  No more heart stopping moments when the
  diesel F350 decides to shift from second to third,  making me
  think a cat just died in the muffler.  There’s a reason cars
  weren’t originally invented to make decisions on their own…who the
  heck invented automatic transmissions anyway?   I remind
  myself to thank Jim for replacing the clutch, granted it did take him
  two weeks, but I’ll let it slide considering practically everything had
  to come out of the car (including the engine and transmission) before
  he could replace it.  (“yes honey, I had the utmost confidence
  you could put it all back together again…no I wasn’t surprised it actually worked”)
      Adjust the mirrors, pop ACDC (don’t tell Jim I
  actually do listen to his music) into the CD player and I’m on my
  way.   I look in shock at my speedometer when I realize I
  haven’t even reached the top of the interstate on-ramp and I’m already going
  95.  What the heck. I think. Oh well, it’s been too long… as the needle
  climbs steadily toward 100mph.

      Crap! I spoke too soon…why the heck didn’t I plug
  in the radar detector?  Dreaded blue and red lights are flashing
  in my rearview mirror.  Next I check my reflection in the mirror,
  darn it, I forgot to put any makeup on, that combined with the pigtail
  braids, I look about 15 and I’m thinking I’ll have to go for the
  innocent angle “uh yes officer, I had no clue my daddy’s car could
  drive that fast”…that’s when I realize I forgot my wallet.  This
  is not good.  I make a quick check of my location: I’m about a
  mile out of Puetz Valley,  and  decide to make a run for
  it.  Puetz Valley contains some of the most twisty roads in San Diego
  county.  I may not be able to out-maneuver a cop on the
  interstate, but I can lose anybody on mountain road…especially when
  that “anybody” is a cop driving a chevy blazer.   With plenty
  of tree coverage, I decide no helicopter would ever be able to see me, let
  alone follow me,  and with that thought I make a hard left off of
  Alpine blvd.  I drop it into fourth, taking advantage of the
  miraculous surge of power that makes it’s appearance when the rpm hits
  3500.  The first mile is an easy test for what’s to come, I easily
  keep it at 70mph, but when I round the next corner I see the yellow
  marker labeling the next curve at 20mph.  I jam it into third, hit
  the gas and pull up on the e-brake….whew, I made a beautiful,
  expertly successful, sliding turn accomplished at a mere 65mph.  
  God bless the engineers at Audi who are genius’s with suspension and
  handling, and God bless the men (or women) who managed to put such a
  powerful engine in a small car, no wonder Mercedes had to
  steal….*cough* I mean buy the concept from VW.  I drive on for a
  few more miles, I lost the flashing lights a long time ago, and now I
  can’t even hear a siren, I pull up a dirt road and round the corner out
  of sight. It’s a beautiful day.

  ….I suddenly realize I have to merge onto the freeway (don’t want to
  be one of those people who expect everybody to merge around
  them).  My heart is beating furiously, and my leg is shaking from
  the adrenalin rush.  I check and double check my mirrors…no
  police in sight, no lights…nothing.  I sheepishly look around
  the semi-empty interstate…no Puetz Valley.  Highly relieved,
  and slightly disappointed, I dutifully plug in the radar
  detector….just in case.

  • 8:49 pm
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